DONNA SUMMER COVERAGE

REVIEW BY DAVID THORNTON

Photo by Ramon D.

PAGE 1 There it was like a last-ditch effort signal to distant aliens in hopes that they would come to rescue our tragically dire planet. The Pala Casino rises like a volcanic eruption from the midst of complete and total darkness. So black, and so dark, that his dewy-eyed (well, jaded, if anything) white boy from Ohio actually got a little nervous braving the 10+ mile trek through the backwoods of rural San Diego County onto an Indian Reservation via a winding two-lane road with no guardrails and precipitous drops only a hand twitch on the steering wheel away. The only light to be seen was a sliver of a new moon hanging low in the sky. It made me think of the time that Joe’s dad told me that the moon over our house in Laurel Canyon was exactly like the moon on “Four Seasons of Love.” That album was facing outward in the closet of our guestroom. He told me he expected to look up and see Donna Summer resting on it. Even the GPS in my Benz didn’t know where we were and at times had us traveling off pre-determined roads. What if this car breaks down? What if we get a flat? How will TeleAid ever find me? There cannot be any AT&T service out here! All these thoughts raced through my mind as we forged on hoping to happen upon what seemed like a God-forsaken place in the middle of nowhere. To see Donna Summer? What is she thinking? Only the hardest core of fans (like me) would venture out here. A complete and utter dearth of advertising has accompanied this appearance. No LA or Inland Empire newspapers have carried a word about it. Had it not been for Ticketmaster’s online notification sending the announcement, and thereby scooping Cathy, I wouldn’t have even known. But, you know me, ever one to make a weekend out of something, I booked a villa at the new South Coast Winery Spa & Resort in Temecula and packed Joe and a new YSL black shirt into the car and headed out for two days of much-needed R&R for the both of us. You see, Joe’s dad died unexpectedly on October 31. We both took off to be with the family in Little Rock, Arkansas immediately. Joe stayed an extra week. How Donna lives in Nashville is beyond me. Little Rock is not that far away, and it is truly the South in every way shape and form, not to mention the timing of our National Election while we were there! I know that Joe’s dad was up there on Monday night with Donna on the moon. Seems like everybody knows about Donna. But I digress, as usual. The only signs of Donna’s impending performance were some billboard signs on I-15…somehow that doesn’t have the same hook as “billboard signs on the strip…” This ought to be something is what we both were thinking. A coworker told me that Pala and the other Indian casinos “are not Vegas.” Man, was she ever right. Not only is it not Vegas, it’s not even Reno or Laughlin. Those of you who have been to either know exactly what I mean! Imagine that you are expecting to go on the Ellen Degeneres show and you end up walking onto the set of Match Game ‘74 instead. Now you see? The concert was not sold out. I bought the most expensive tickets that I could and was in row 14. Row 15 was the last in the section and sat empty, as did the two seats next to us. I guess we were the last people willing to pop for the premium price. The room was, hold on, a banquet/conference room complete with those skinny banquet stackable chairs. I measured one with my arm using the old-English method of that your forearm and hand is 18.” I estimate the seat width at 14-15.” According to the US Army, the average male butt in the US is 17” wide when seated. I have a whole history of measurements on that topic myself, but this article is not about me. So, with Americans having gained an average of 10 pounds since 1990, how the heck do they expect to fit us in these chairs wedged cushion to cushion? And, given the girth of most of the attendees coming in, all we could do was inhale and try to relax. A technique that has always worked well for me. There were some big people there. The entire room held probably 2000 people. The show was about 15 minutes late getting started because at curtain time, only about half the seats were filled. The others straggled in and the show should have been starting any minute. No curtain, and in fact, not much of a stage. The makeshift stage was maybe 40 feet wide and about 4 and a half feet higher than the flat floor (no sloped floor as in most venues). The drop-panel ceiling was about 14 feet total from the floor. My house has a higher ceiling. Both Joe and I expected some ex-Vietnam vet to come out and give us a motivational speech about how he survived a POW camp writing notes to other prisoners on toilet paper. But wait, Donna wrote “She Works Hard…” on toilet paper in the ladies' room at Chasen’s. Maybe there’s some connection in some bizarre way? The audience was quite unforgiving. “Is this what her career has come to?” I heard one person say. An abundance of ’99 tour t-shirts could be seen. “I haven’t seen her in forever!” was another outburst. The crowd grew restless, clapping rhythmically at times, in order to get the show on the road. A seven-piece string orchestra and six-piece band filled positions behind translucent white plastic panels on stage. The ubiquitous trio of Mary Ellen, Bruce, and Phyllis lingered and writhed in the smoky purple light behind, stage right. A massive soundboard occupied the back of the room and was attended by a very busy looking man. The overture consisted of “She Works Hard for the Money,” “Sunset People,” and “Hot Stuff.” When Donna came on stage, they shifted into “Fairy Tale High,” leading me into thinking this might not be an ordinary concert since we haven’t heard that one live in a long time. But alas, and alack, it was only an instrumental overture. Donna walked on from the side in her now-standard black tuxedo pantsuit. Donna’s hair and makeup were superb, although I don’t personally care for the style of the wig she has been wearing these days, the same one that she wore to the Red Sox game. The most striking thing about her appearance was her weight. As you will learn further in this article, it has been noticed. From the one-year ago in person meeting that I had with Donna, things have changed a lot. KEEP READING (PAGE 2)

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